I'm an escort who specialises in sex with disabled clients – and I love it

My first disabled client was Rob*, a 30-year-old who became quadriplegic following an accident. 

Rob was referred to me through a friend, who knew he wanted to try seeing an escort – like me – but was a little nervous due to his vulnerability.

I’m a curvy brunette and his friend knew that I would fit his preferences looks-wise – she also knew that she could trust me to treat him well, and so, she gave him my details. 

I had no hesitation in taking him on as a potential client. In fact, I was excited! I love to enrich my clients’ lives, and I felt that if this were to work out with Rob, it would really make a difference for him.

Rob and I chatted a little online at first, to find out a bit about one another and to see if we were a good fit. This isn’t something I wouldn’t usually do at such great lengths ahead of seeing an able-bodied client, but I wanted to make sure that I was able to give Rob the experience he was looking for, given the potential obstacles. His accident meant that he had extremely restricted mobility.

While he had no specific requests, I found out a little about what Rob liked and the things that turned him on, some were a little bit taboo.

In advance of us meeting, I made some mental notes about things I could say, or little things I could do, to really help him enjoy the session.

But I didn’t really know what to expect. I did know I would be spending time with an intelligent, witty, endearing man, but in terms of potential bedroom activities, I wasn’t certain how things would turn out.

When the day came, I travelled to meet Rob at his home, where, as anticipated, his carer let me in and showed me how to use his wheelchair.

As I had expected, I later found out Rob’s carer thought I was just a friend. 

Rob and I immediately hit it off. His conversation was interesting and he had a very dirty mind! With a little clumsiness, I moved us to the bedroom where we had a great time. He was very happy with the experience, and I’ve been seeing him every other month now for about three years. 

We’ve become friends, and I can see us being part of each other’s lives for quite a while.

I really enjoy my time with him. As well as helping with his sexual needs, we spend social time together too – he knows I love horror movies and likes me to snuggle up in front of the TV with him!

This is in contrast to how many people generally view escorts – and the service we provide. It’s not all degrading sex in seedy brothels, with one dirty old man after another. 

In reality, I build intimate connections and friendships with regular clients who are seeking companionship. I describe my service as a ‘girlfriend experience’, but I almost see myself as somewhat of a therapist. 

Most of my time is spent talking, and listening – about everything from relationship troubles, to just showing someone an interest in their life.

Escorting is something I almost fell into, having a lot of friends who work in the sex and adult industries. I tried it once as a duo with a friend, as exchanging money for sex had been a fantasy of mine, and enjoyed it so much that I carried on doing it. 

That was almost four years ago now, and I’m still loving what I do.

I really care about my clients, which to me is so important for a mutually rewarding experience

Since hitting it off with Rob, a specialism I seem to accidentally have fallen into – but have found the most rewarding – is providing services to disabled clients.

And I strongly believe it’s so important to break down the stigma surrounding sex and disability. 

Sex is a basic human desire, and need. But for those with disabilities, the ability to engage in sexual activity, or even to simply masturbate, is difficult or even impossible. 

There is a general misconception that people who are disabled are not interested in sex, intimacy or relationships. But this obviously is not the case. 

The majority of the disabled clients I’ve seen have been disabled from a young age, and their disability or physical health problems prevented them being able to explore sexually. Their loved ones often don’t see them as mature and interested in these kinds of relationships, so it’s a need that is often overlooked or dismissed

For example, I know Rob would love to find a girlfriend, and we’ve spoken about how difficult it is in his situation to meet potential love interests. His confidence has grown a lot since I’ve known him, and he realises he is attractive, and lovable, and his physical restrictions don’t define him. 

But he is yet to have another sexual partner – I’m hopeful he will meet someone.

I’ve since worked with several disabled clients and have helped to meet their sexual needs, and, in experimenting, have also found different positions and techniques, specific to their physical restrictions, that they can later use with other partners. 

I’ve also seen couples where one or both parties have a disability. I help them express their desires and concerns, and develop creative ways to work around their physical limitations, sometimes involving toys or other aids. Wearable vibrators and sex position wedges (which are basically strategically shaped pillows!) in particular make things a lot easier.

Last year, the Court of Protection ruled that care staff helping disabled people access sex work services were not breaking the law. Prior to this, under section 39 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003, it was considered an offence for a care worker to intentionally cause or incite a person they are supporting to engage in a sexual activity.

While the act itself had no implications for myself or my clients, given that prostitution itself is legal, it did come as a relief that we now didn’t have to worry about any potential problems that may arise for carers who may become aware of our arrangements.

I see this as a real step forward. In my opinion sex in social care needs to be destigmatised and acknowledged in order to deal with it affectively.

Where a person has the mental capacity to want to engage in sexual relations, but not to have the ability to make practical arrangements or to identify a suitable sex worker, having assistance from their carer will not only make this possible, but help ensure their safety. 

Since the law change, I have since seen a rise in bookings from disabled clients, as their carers are now able to brief me on their physical and safety needs. It’s important to note, though, that I am fortunate in that sex work is not my only form of income – so I can pick and choose the clients I see without worrying about paying my bills.

Still, it makes me feel sad to think of how those people suffered in silence, ignoring their purely natural needs and urges, simply because they were disabled and didn’t want anyone to get into trouble. It seems so archaic and backwards to me.

Thanks to the landmark ruling in the disability community, Rob can comfortably speak to his carer about the real reason for my visits. It’s really helped make things more exciting and opened up what we’re able to do together physically!

Having been taught how to use his equipment properly by his carer, my confidence in manoeuvring Rob has increased, and we’re able to experiment a lot more.

Now he doesn’t have to protect his carer, Rob no longer has to hide who I am or what I’m there for, and can talk much more openly. We’re able to speak on the phone, or by text message, at any time, rather than planning it around when Rob will be alone.

Anyone seeking these specialist services can find escorts listed on the TLC Trust, an online listing for sex workers that work with people with disabilities. 

I don’t necessarily think this is a job for just any escort – you need a clear understanding of boundaries and consent, as well as a patient and understanding approach. 

While you’d think this was a given for any sex worker, many worry that a person’s physical restrictions may hamper their ability to give, and if necessary, revoke consent, or express their boundaries. In reality, in the case of a physically disabled person, their mental capacity is not impaired, and they are able to communicate as well as (if not better than) an able bodied person.

I really care about my clients, which to me is so important for a mutually rewarding experience. I didn’t even consider that I might fall into such a ‘niche’ when I started out escorting, but I’m so glad I have.

It’s taught me that what matters most about a person is who they are underneath – and I can’t imagine having a more rewarding, important career than the one I have now.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected] 

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