DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though we’ve been together for five years, my long-distance lover is in the closet and I feel like his mistress.
I’m a 26-year-old gay man while my boyfriend, who lives in the US, is 55.
I’m not rich but I go out to see him whenever I can. He never visits me.
Even after five years, nobody knows he’s my boyfriend. I’m introduced to his family and friends as an old mate.
I’m hoping to emigrate to be with him but that might take years.
When I try to talk to him about this, he says he loves me.
Sometimes I do feel I should look for someone else. But he’s my life, so how can I break up with him?
DEAR DEIDRE: You clearly love him deeply and have been very patient but he might not be able to give you what you want.
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Even if you moved to the US, would he come out?
He is 55 and might never do so. For your own happiness, you need to ask him how he sees your future so you can decide if it is right for you.
You deserve real love and commitment. My support pack Moving On should help.
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