DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend’s mate sexually assaulted me. I’ve told no one until now but I don’t know whether to take action over it.
I’m a guy of 25 and my boyfriend is 27. I’d had a drunken row with my boyfriend after a night out.
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This friend was round our flat and pulled us apart. I stormed off and collapsed into the bed almost unconscious.
The friend got into bed with me. At first I thought nothing of it. But I froze when he tried to pull me closer to him, put his hand between my legs and kissed the back of my neck.
I said, “No, no, no!” but he began unbuttoning his jeans.
I jumped out of the bed and went to find my boyfriend.
He had fallen asleep on the floor but I lay down with him.
I am horrified that my boyfriend’s mate would do this.
I haven’t told my boyfriend about his friend attempting to have sex with me and I am concerned about how this guy might portray what happened to my boyfriend.
We have enough problems and row viciously as it is.
DEIDRE SAYS: This was clearly sexual assault and a very distressing experience for you at a time when you were vulnerable.
Sexual assault often leaves deep emotional scars.
Start resolving this by talking to Galop, the LGBT+ anti-violence charity (0800 999 5428; galop.org.uk).
That will help you feel stronger to decide whether you want to share what happened with your boyfriend and report it to the police.
This man is clearly dangerous.
But don’t stay in this relationship if you can’t resolve the issues that are causing these vicious rows.
A helpful guide to get you started is Stop Arguing, Start Talking by Susan Quilliam.
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