ELLIE Goulding posed topless and revealed that she felt "like a total mess" in her twenties.
The singer spoke to #legend magazine and opened up on her marriage to art dealer Caspar Jopling.
She tied the knot with Caspar in a fancy ceremony last summer at York Minster, and says being with Caspar has brought her a new sense of independence.
On the eve of the 10-year anniversary of her first album Lights, Ellie, 33, discussed her marriage and music career in a lengthy interview.
"I found so much more happiness in myself without relying on another person," she explained.
"I'm married now, so you would think that would be the cue for me to be dependent on the other person, but actually I couldn't feel more independent than I do right now."
She added that she feels a sense of freedom and support being married and it has also given her a strange feeling of confidence.
"It's a strange paradox, because marriage seems as though it should give you some kind of closure for something. But I feel the opposite – it feels like a kind of freedom."
The Love Me Like You Do singer went on to describe her twenties, saying they were a "total mess."
She admitted: "Oh wow… you know, back then I was extremely curious. What's the word for a total mess? I guess I was such a curious person, but I was very confused."
It has been 10 years since Ellie burst on the scene with hit single Starry Eyed and her most recent single "Hate Me" with the late Juice Wrld came out last year.
She opened up on how her perspective of music has changed since her career took off a decade ago, even admitting that she finds her old sings "cringey."
"My music has really been a direct reflection of me growing as a woman. It started from being a confused teenager, writing songs about how I saw heartbreak and how I viewed humans’ behaviours towards one another – especially with break-ups and falling in love.
She continued: "I’ve definitely grown with my music and I do have to admit that when I listen to my older songs, I cringe a bit. I find them quite cringey. I appreciate what I was trying to say, but I just feel like I’ve learned so much more about how to deal with my own emotions and tough situations that I perhaps would have written them in a different way now."
Caspar is an art dealer who works at Sotheby's in strategy and Contemporary Art.
On August 7, 2018, it was revealed that Caspar had asked Ellie to marry him.
A source told the Sun's Bizarre column: "The couple wanted to tell friends and family first and people won't notice because her name is Elena.
"She's over the moon and has never felt so happy."
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